Suffering is good
Sometimes you find an excellent bit of advice in a place you aren’t looking. I do look at Patrick Lencioni, but not on the topic of suffering.
I’d like to quote a bit from his recent newsletter. (Take this as a free advert — he is worth reading.)
When people fear suffering more than they should, they ironically experience unnecessary anguish and stress. Beyond that, some would say that worrying actually increases the likelihood that… what is being feared will happen. Finally, our distaste for suffering makes it difficult for us to benefit from its effects, and from realizing the benefits that it yields when we emerge on the other side.
…Every great team must suffer a little, and sometimes a lot, in order to achieve greatness. It must confront, experience and struggle with uncomfortable and relationship-threatening moments of conflict and confusion, and then it must work through those moments by demonstrating interpersonal courage, persistence and forgiveness. By doing so, it establishes levels of trust that simply cannot be otherwise achieved.
For those of us who are tempted to be skeptical about this, to continue searching for a team-building process that is painless and discomfort-free, we should look at family and marriage to give us clarity. When we realize that no great family or marriage can be formed — or maintained — without the willingness to enter the danger of interpersonal conflict and discomfort, we may begin to appreciate the importance of doing so on our teams.
That is very true. A good team means that people will allow themselves to be vulnerable to the opinions of other people. Great growth can happen. So can pain. Good pain.
I find that being open to the Holy Spirit’s leading has the same effect. I like my good ideas, and I don’t always like God suggesting an alternative. It hurts my pride to realize that I’m not one of the greatest problem-solvers of all time. But to the extent that I remember that it isn’t all about me, I can be a better team member. I can learn from God. I can realize greater impact for the Kingdom of God – the team I’m playing on.
Patrick Lencioni’s materials can be found at www.tablegroup.com